Thursday, February 18, 2016

Strange Ramblings in Aztlan 2016

YOOO!!! It's been almost 4 years since the last entry and that's so unfair to all my fans. Both of you? Anyone? Ok, solo yo misma. I'm keeping this amazing title even though I no longer live next to the LA River. I'm still a madre and the 2012 spiritual portal still exists and I'm still doing it all for "mis hiiiiijos" yes, real llorona style. Things haven't changed much just our zip codes. Ok, a lot has changed. Muchas cosas and full circles and dead end streets and yielding and all the street sign metaphors from the California DMV handbook have happened. I'll start this pity party tomorrow. Tengo sueƱo and my double ear infection needs a rest. Huh? What...love love.

Friday, May 4, 2012

Pinche Pendeja Rubia

I really tried to like xoJane, which is Jane Pratt's new online venture. Reading Sassy made me feel so empowered. As a young Latina growing up it opened my eyes to a new world and I felt smart and empowered to read the beautiful voices of young women. I read Jane when I couldn't find Bust magazine at news racks and when I moved to LA I even subscribed to Jane. I even submitted an article in to the "It Happened to ME" section because I needed $1,000 and my gall stone surgery almost killed me in 2003 and I wanted to share the glory. I received in email saying that they couldn't use it at the time. And the next month, Jane magazine was over. Now it's back since late of last year and I liked them on facebook only to get my walled spammed with too many articles about body image, addiction, hair dye, drugs, and body image in a "let me laugh at my fat before they do" kinda way that kills me. I thought I would love it but it's horrible. The website became a community blog for women who go to constant therapy and want you to look at them. The same bloggers are featured constantly and today after attempting to get through Emily's blog about going blonde she says...
And really, does anyone believe that blondes are having that much damn fun? You know who has a lot of fun? Sluts, of all colors. And drunk people. And children, because they're stupid.
This shit don't make mamabear smile anymore and unliking xoJane and their pathetic little stories made me feel empowered. That subject line up there was my original comment to the post then I deleted it and deleted them. Pos ni modo. Why did this post make me so mad?!
Do you remember the time?

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Coachella 2012: The Next Episode

I was back when the sun was setting on the last day. No one complains anymore on the price of food, the heat, the crowds on those last hours, you just don't want it to end. Hanging out with friends, listening to music and enjoying the moment is the Coachella experience we all wait for annually and why we get tickets before the line-up is even announced. We'll stop when the fun is over. We met up with the crew for At the Drive-In. If you know this band then you know their sound, their energy and the hair. I'm a girl that's into guys and their hair and now that Cedric is older and more llenito I couldn't stop looking. ATDI, filled that spot in my heart when Rage broke up. But even if I loved Rage, I was no longer angry so ATDI was a force that I couldn't consume. They're bad ass, and proud brown rockers. Checka. We wondered if the American Sign Language translator that usually stands on main stage and outdoor theater got paid extra for their set, because really... Carlos and I moved on over for DJ Shadow before the Snoop/Dre show. We had already missed much but that one album is personal so any beats from him, for even a minute was a must do. We get to see him in an orb with projections all over the stage. We bopped our heads, tapped our feet, raised our hands in the air to beat recognitions. All that, then Zach's voice sounded too real over the beats and there he was...Mr. De la Rocha jumped out of no where and joined DJ Shadow. I just threw bodies to the side to get close. This person got closer, good video. Ahhh, perfect. DJ Shadow said he was ending his set because he wanted to get to see Dre and Snoop and we just clapped and moved back to Outdoor theater. I finally got excited about this gangsta party after seeing local kids with no wristbands in swap meet clothes mobbing to the front. I was in high school when the Chronic and Doggystyle came out, I wasn't a chola but I loved those albums and all the parties played these songs and that's all I wanted to hear. Those two albums, not Wiz Khalifa, Eminem, 50, all that. Warren G, toda via pasa but a hologram Eazy E, some Ice Cube, Michel'e bring them! Even Cypress Hill, instead of the House of Pain cover. I'm writing assuming you saw it all on streaming but that was the show. It was fun to dance to that music that is 20 years old and a high school soundtrack, and I kept screaming when Tupac came out because his movements were so Avatarish. But when all the guests came out it took from Dre and Snoop time. Should of brought all of these homies. The live band brought the funk, but I wanted more G-Funk, if this weekend brings George Clinton and Parliament...oooohh. Pos, ya que se hace. Til next year.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Coachella 2012: Sunday the 15th

They're not streaming Weekend 2. Perhaps we all laughed too much at Hologram Tupac!? Now we won't know if they could recreate that or do hologram Eazy-E? I'll get to that later but it was a moment in Coachella history.
Butcherettes is Teri Gender Bender, de Guadalajara Mexico. I've been following them online and I've been missing out on the small shows they've had here at the Echo, Spaceland and the Bootleg. She's wild and her live shows are wild, bloody wild and she was rumored to dance in her own piss at Lollapalooza. So yes I had to be front row for this. First thing I said was "hey that's not the dude from the Locust, that's the dude from At the Drive-In." Her band has yet metamorphosed again, with Omar Rodriguez Lopez and a female drummer. She was fun to watch, her movidas were insane and she climbed the rafters like a loca should. Then at the end of her set she jumps off the stage and runs to the middle of the grass. I'm sure there's pictures out there with me right next to her, we chanted, we raised her up and took her back to the Gobi. I said 'cuidado con la palma!' as she almost cut herself taking pictures, but I'm sure she could handle it. Fall in love with her too. Angie said Metronomy (same time) was awesome and then conflict #2 for the day was Santigold vs. Seun Kuti and Egypt 80. Goldenvoice put funkybeat against afrobeat at the exact same time and I wanted to do both but once Seun Kuti started you couldn't pull me away. We walked up to the front and stood mesmerized in front of a dozen musicians, including two dancers that moved like no one at Coachella. We did not stop dancing, I don't even remember when Angie left, it was the best. Here's how the white kids loved it. We clapped loudly and moved on to Santigold. Note the obnoxious unused VIP section, mierda. Santigold, we actually got to see the last 3 songs but trust...if given the opportunity I would miss her again for Seun Kuti, that good. The funk continued when she ended her set to Big Mouth. This song is so funky live. We walked back to the outdoor theater, to sit through Los Growlers. They're local boys who sound like local boys from the surf 60s era, with a mariachi horn here or there. Perfect sunny grooves from another Muppet of a man. We heard their full fuzzy set then had time to get more Crab Fries to feed the weekend's foodie addiction. Wild Flag was next, Carrie Brownstein got her Sleater Kinney grrrls (minus one) to play music again. She must've been annoyed with dorks screaming Portlandia quotes because she said "thanks for watching" and Carlos says people chattered "I didn't know she made music"...annoying. But I'll admit that Angie and I looked out for Fred Armisen. I even went to the gate with some trash to see if I could toss my trash backstage, I did do that. Rockera. I had to do a costume change so part deuce...

Friday, April 20, 2012

Coachella 2012: Saturday the 14th

I woke up late Saturday and played with my kids in the real Coachella, California. We had pizza and then I dropped them off at Casa Hernandez/Johnson. I got to Coachella fest late, by the time St. Vincent was in the Gobi. So I missed out on Azealia Banks, who is 2 legit 2 quit so I know I'll see her soon. She's part vogue, house and hip-hop and is all 90s, and even has a song like where were you in '91 (similar to M.I.A) but she has her own estilo and was born in 1991. She's doing it right, google it.
St. Vincent, is beautiful Annie Clark and her band. Her voice is celestial, old school musical voice. Like Wizard of Oz, like Judy Garland and Julie Andrews, that kind of classical pretty. Compa Joaquin said she looked like Micheal Jackson. She's good, her band is good and then she does a song called krokodil that made her badass. Here's a clip. Not mine. We passed through Feist and Bon Iver and towards Godspeed You! Black Emperor for more stuff Carlos likes. I'm not hating it's just that apocalyptic music that scares me, especially since it was loud and we were up close. These men sat in a circle in chairs playing the shit out of their instruments with hyper images of chaos on the screen, like a musical seance with no rhyme or reason just strings a lo pendejo. Still not hating, it's just I'm not on drugs.
Radiohead is the real reason why I came back to the polo grounds today because I love Thom Yorke, that muppet of a man. We stood close to a tower of speakers, we heard his little assholeness loud and clear, when fans shouted "we love you!!!" he responded with "I love you too...just not as much as you think I do". Cabroncito. At this point, I am a lame Radiohead fan because I just want him to play Ok Computer, Kid A and Amnesiac and that's it. My favorite song of his set was Lucky and when he goes into "pull me out of the plane crash" I think I literally fell back into Carlos with the lights and toda la cosa. The set felt short, I wanted fireworks or some covers, I wanted to hear Airbag, I wanted more spacey shit. This dude who was still clapping by himself after the show was way over and people were walking away said "I can't believe he did Neil Young" I just shrugged my shoulders as he walked away with his blue light on his head. That little diddy before Everything In It's Right Place was a cover. Yo queria mas. Our friend Sarah hates this band. We all love this band, girl he says your name.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Coachella 2012: Friday the 13th

This Monday I was asked if I would go to second Coachella weekend if I had the chance. My throbbing left foot sent the message to my brain and “no” came out of my mouth. Did I say hell no? I’m not sure because I already changed my mind. I would go, take me. After 13 years I’m going to finally know what that “I’m missing out on Coachella” feeling is and I don’t like it.

Friday's weather was its own show, the polo grounds always seem so huge with the endless blue sky above. Last year we had a gorgeous full moon that gracefully illuminated our musical wanderings but this year was the first time, in 13 years that it rained. Not a pouring rain; a sprinkle of fat drops here, some sideways rain there, and misty drizzle at the right moments. Unforgettable. Imagine grey low clouds playing peek a boo with the glorious sun all day and then at twilight the sky opened up to reveal a valley of stars. It was romantic like that until our garnachas started to freeze.

Hello Seahorse! I love them so much and sent people to bed the night before by playing all their videos. I want you to be in love with them too, not because they're Mexican and sing in Spanish but because their music transports you. Lo Blondo showed off some of her opera skills, and they ended their set with Un Ano Quebrado, not a broken ass, tu sabes. They deserved the main stage love.

We saw Neon Indian, Jimmy Cliff, and then to Madness at the Outdoor theater. Madness sounded so good and I did not expect to shed tears to "Our House" but it just triggered those memories of our house on Lexington and how those lyrics are some of the ones I first understood as I transitioned from ESL in first grade. You know how songs remind you not just of your youth but your family's youth when our house was a crowd and mom was so house proud. Just got me nostalgic and choked up but then we skanked it over back to Coachella stage for Pulp. Angelica gives best in show to Pulp and don't hate me for not being a fan, I just don't know their music, I recognize the hits and I know they're important and British. Jarvis Cocker did sound amazing and if La Hopie wasn't playing then I would have watched their full set too. We moved on to Frank Ocean in the Gobi who started off with some country twang and then some R&B stuff that made us take steps back to Pulp. See, I know what's good for me.

Mazzy Star, I wasn't the girl in black in high school but freshman year in college a roommate let me borrow their CDs and I never gave them back. I've seen Hope Sandoval and I knew what to expect but I could tell something wasn't going her way for the first couple of songs. We got reports from friends that were closer that she was bothered by people in the VIP section. I was bothered by the VIP section too Hopie! Why is it so obnoxious now, it takes up my prime viewing area at the outdoor stage and a lot of time it's empty. The band got in synch with She Hangs Brightly and by the time she got to Ghost Highway we were all panza gazing. Cue the misty rain, the lights, the fuzz, we look up after So Tonight That I Might See to an empty stage. I think our group was entranced with the spectacle; the wet desert earth smell, the sad palm trees behind her, the drizzle and her voice- best in show for me.

I could've gone home happy after that but my mission was full sets of M83 and The Horrors. Then we stumbled into the Gobi for a very small hyped crowd, Atari Teenage Riot was amazing. Why didn't I love this band in the 90s? Was I trying to walk away from my house/techno love? I don't know, but I missed out on them then. Dope shit, like amazing powerful voice from that girl and crazy electronic beats with a message!? We should've watched the entire set but we walked back to the Outdoor Theater. There I stood by myself in plastic clothes as I froze listening to some rock opera shit with no lyrics called Explosions in the Sky. Stuff Carlos likes, then we rolled deep to M83.

Something happened with M83, they weren't loud, not loud enough, we were by the speakers and talking and we could hear ourselves talking. I mean, we're next to speakers at a M83 show!?! The crowd was loving it but we just kept looking at each other like what happened? We sat down, it rained more, we got up, we were cold. You know where this is going.

Waiting til midnight for the Horrors, at first I thought it a perfect end to go home with them buzzing in your brain but we couldn't freakin hang. Once we heard the songs I needed to hear live (I know, I hate those people) we walked towards the car. But I lie, someone said they had to go to the bathroom and I had to find brother Jim...so Angie and I walked around the small crowd towards the rail on the right side. Why wasn't there a massive crowd, come on people!!! He's a sexy dude,talented and if you love Ian Curtis' and Paul Bank's voice then you'll love his- I know they'll be around so no problem ey. I'm happy they were there and I finally heard them live. I missed them in 2009, but that doesn't matter because I'm in love with them now.

A la casa, slumber party! She's still this hauntingly beautiful.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Coachella Weekend #2 Kids Camp




Those that know me know that I go to Coachella every year, every day...until 2012. Our friends at Goldenvoice decided to widen their audience by making it fair for more folks to attend. Let's see how this experiment transpires. I would be crying to get in both weekends and doing my best to make it happen if I was young and healthy enough to handle the physical beatdown of Coachella. This event has been my official end of hibernation celebration, my coming out, the reason I shave my legs and hunt down dresses to match my perfect pedicure. But this year, thanks to my plantar fasciitis I'll be rocking my frumpy new balance sneakers because fashion before comfort is not happening.

ANYWAY.

If you are a parent that needs to be at Coachella, and does not have the convenience of having a trusted relative or friend in the vicinity then I am your girl. I'll be at Coachella weekend #1 with my crew and perhaps one or both of my babies but I will be back to take care of yours in my home. I live 3 miles away from the polo grounds and you'll have the peace of mind knowing that you could have fun at the show without putting your child's safety in jeopardy. I see you parents looking stressed out, trying not to be too close to the speakers, letting your partner get closer for the picture and you sitting in the back wishing you could be up in the front like you used to be. I GET IT!!

Coachella WITH KIDS is like this...

-negotiating with security to let the snacks and water in
-smuggling shade and capri suns in stroller
-changing diapers in shady lonely grassy area
-looking for those ear plugs you thought you brought
-becoming friends with the first aid tent
-never going into sahara tent, not even close
-getting there late to avoid the heat
-leaving early to avoid the cold
-missing daft punk

I'm mother to a 3 year old train loving boy and a 6 year old sassy craft making girl. I hold an elementary school credential and have taught in Coachella Valley and Los Angeles schools.

Contact me if interested at xulitron@gmail.com. Serious inquiries only!